COFFEE, ORGASMS AND ENERGY

[Image Source: livestrong.com]

My inner battle with coffee is ongoing.  I'll start with what pulls me towards this beverage and then share my reasons for resisting it.

I love the aroma of coffee beans.  I will walk down that aisle in the grocery store just to get a whiff of freshly ground beans.  Sometimes I catch the toasty, roasted scent and other times, it's the oily, creaminess that turns me on.

The most obvious pull towards coffee is its addictive nature.  I know that I'm addicted because once I get into a rhythm of drinking it daily, it's very difficult to stop and I experience the withdrawal headaches within 24 hours of 'quitting'.  There's also an intense mental obsession associated with quitting coffee, but I experience this torment when breaking away from any form of attachment, whether physical or emotional.

I am also a fan of morning ritual and there have been many, many days where the only thing that motivated me to get out of bed was the excitement of a walk to my neighbourhood cafe for a hot & steamy americano [imagine espresso machine sounds here].  I know I don't truly need the drink to wake me up - there are a number of activities such as yoga, walking, chi gong and sex that can get my blood & oxygen flowing enough to ignite my day.  And I would argue that those activities are healthier choices... buuuut, sometimes I'm simply not motivated to hit my yoga mat straight outta bed.  Yes, coffee serves as a shortcut to motivation, when I'm not flowing in my ideal morning routine.

I amuse myself by justifying an unnecessary trip to the cafe like so: "I will practice being fully present in my body while sipping this delicious drink... and I will connect deeply with my surroundings as I sit outside, soak up some Vitamin D and observe people on their way to work .  I know that not everyone has the freedom and time to really enjoy an unrushed morning ritual like this.  I am inspired to make a list of all of the other things that I am grateful for in my life including this sacred beverage which comes from the Creator..."

After elevating coffee to sacred status by sneaking it into my spiritual practice, what could possibly motivate me to say, "No" to it?  The simple answer: Orgasm.  While I would like to say that I care enough about my health to refrain from drinking coffee, it simply has not been the case.  I feel dehydrated most days, pee frequently, have yellowing teeth and could definitely improve my sleep, yet I find it so challenging to give up coffee.  It also doesn't help that coffee is everywhere.  I don't know how it is where you live but in my Toronto neighbourhood there is a coffee dealer on just about every city block.

I'm not going to say much about the most commonly known side effects of caffeine such as dehydration, insomnia and bad breath.  This article is not so much about weighing the pros and cons of coffee consumption - you can google that.  I want to share some of my personal observations and explore a perspective on how drinking coffee can affect your life in a way that you may not have considered.

Let's dive in...

I was first introduced to tantra when I got a job as a bartender at a Couples Club near Vancouver, B.C. One of the perks of this job was being invited to sexy couples events and sexuality-related workshops.  The first workshop I attended was a women-only event led by a professional Tantrika.  I had no idea this job even existed until I met her.  About 20 of us ladies, mostly in our 20's & 30's, stood in a circle as the lady with the exotic French accent led us through some body practices.  I remember her guiding us to use both hands to massage circles around our own breasts, a certain number of times clockwise and then the same number in the other direction.  She explained that this massage had something to do with our energy.  I didn't feel anything special but went through the motions with eager curiosity.  We remained fully clothed for this non-erotic, energy-focused workshop while she wore a black, lacy yet modest one-piece leotard.

Next, she told us she was going to demonstrate a full body orgasm.  She turned on some tribal music and lay down in the center of our circle on her back with her knees bent and feet on the floor.  She began to undulate her spine along the ground and placed one hand lightly over her pubic mound, fingers curled between her thighs.  I noticed that even though she was touching her genital area with her palm, she didn't seem to be using much pressure, nor was she doing any finger work and because she was wearing a leotard, there was no penetration of any kind.  Within a few minutes, she started making strange, cackling, animal-like sounds.  They were primal, gutteral and seemed to come from a deep place in her body.  Not like the whispery, feminine, breathy, high-pitched moans I had heard women make in porn videos.  Before I could even process what was happening, we were witnessing her in full body orgasmic force.

I had never seen or even imagined a full body orgasm until this moment.  She allowed her body to shake and shudder as the group watched.  Little did I know that 5 years later, I would be demonstrating my own full body orgasm to a group of orgasmic explorers.

I remember being blown away by 3 things: First, the possibility of having a full body orgasm - at this stage in my sexual journey I wasn't able to have a vaginal orgasm, and this "problem" was what led me to exploring my sexuality in the first place. Second, I was amazed that she was able to achieve this full body orgasm so quickly and with seemingly little stimulation.  Finally, I was fascinated that she achieved this orgasm on her own, without the help of another person or a toy, AND in front of a bunch of strangers.  I couldn't help but recall how frustrated I had been for my entire sexual life feeling like that point of climax and release was always out of reach.  And here she was, so effortlessly, finding that place of bliss, solo.

What is this tantra magic?!  I wanted to learn more.  The one piece of information she told us that stuck with me all these years was that coffee inhibits a woman's ability to orgasm.  She suggested that we limit our consumption to 1 coffee per week.  As a coffee-lover who was working full time at a breakfast cafe at the time, I didn't like this advice and was skeptical about its validity.  Nevertheless, I was curious about this tantric sex stuff and I wondered if coffee was a reason why I didn't have orgasms, so I locked her words into my memory bank for future experimentation. [Note: I don't remember if she was talking about coffee specifically or about caffeine in general but I will revisit this detail further down the page.]

That was a long story to draw a simple association between coffee and orgasm.  Fast forward a few years when I spent 3 months in Costa Rica, y'know, coffee country.  I drank coffee excessively and, interestingly, I discovered that I was not able to masturbate to orgasm for the entire trip and even after I returned home.  When I was stimulating myself, I noticed I felt completely numb down there.  It was as if my sexual electricity was switched to the "off" position and I was rubbing silly putty. Maybe the Tantra teacher was right?

I completed kundalini yoga teacher training the year after that first tantra workshop.  According to Yogi Bhajan, the founder of Kundalini Yoga, caffeine affects the nervous system and should be avoided.  To those who are not familiar with Kundalini yoga, this is the one yoga tradition that not only acknowledges sexual energy openly, it also encourages us to practice specific kriyas, or yoga & breath processes, that balance and transform sexual energy for overall health and vitality.

I have been a long-time practitioner of chi gong, the ancient Chinese self-healing practice that has helped me to develop an awareness of my energy body (in other words, beyond the physical body) including a heightened sensitivity to any external forces that disrupt or affect my normal energetic state. When I do my daily chi gong practice, consistently, for an extended amount of time, let's say one week, I notice that my "normal" energetic state has certain qualities or characteristics.  These characteristics are noticeably affected by variables such as my emotional state, my diet, my menstrual cycle and my environment.

So let's say I've achieved my "normal" state and all variables are constant with the exception of drinking one cup of coffee in the morning right before doing chi gong.  I typically experience the vibration of the coffee as a sharp, jagged energy that moves at a faster speed than my default vibration.  I feel more rigid, stringy, masculine or yang as well as more emotionally tense and edgy, which shows up in the way I relate to others.  I notice these qualities elicit an urge to move out of that vibration, or to move in some way that will cause the edginess to subside.  I feel as if a fire has been ignited within me and my impulse is to burn off some fuel in order to restore my self to a calmer, steadier state.  I notice I can be impatient with people and there's a roughness in place of my more fluid and soft way of relating to others.

Both my personal quest to experience sexual orgasm and my professional work, which incorporates tantra, yoga and chi gong, has led me to develop a system of fundamental tools to open the body up to orgasmic living.   By orgasmic, I am referring to a broader (not necessarily erotic) experience of peace, presence and ease in the body, mind & emotions ~ similar to what some people experience after having a sexual orgasm and sometimes in sivasana after a rigorous yoga practice.

Both orgasm and caffeine have the power to wake up and energize the body.  In my experience, the major difference between these two power sources are the side effects.  I find that caffeine has a multi-layered way of depleting the physical body which is consistent with the medically referenced side effects of caffeine.  In contrast, I am not aware of any negative side effects of orgasm, regardless of the type of orgasm (some experts say that there are as many as 14 types, and perhaps we can explore that in another post) and I would add that the energizing effects last longer and accumulate with having orgasms over time.

My intention for this article is not to argue that we should skip the coffee and replace it with sex for breakfast, although that is a juicy idea.  I'll save that argument for another post and include the many benefits of orgasm beyond physical pleasure.  What I really wanted to share was another (and in my opinion, very good) reason to consider dropping or, at least, minimizing caffeine consumption, especially if it's something you've been wanting to quit or reduce but have been struggling as I have.  
Writing this article is foremost a tangible reminder and encouragement to my self to think twice before picking up that tempting bevy and it is also an offer of information that is not widely spread throughout the digital data realm...yet.  So I encourage you to experiment with your own body and observe how caffeine may or may not affect your orgasmic ability. I'd love to hear your experience.

[Image Source: foreverconscious.com/11-things-lower-vibration-fix]

META-STORY: 
I ingested 3 times more caffeine (on an empty stomach) than I would drink in a typical day, so that I could get really intimate with the rhythm of coffee to write this post.  Let's call this vibrational method-writing: Immersing myself in a vibrational frequency in order to prepare for writing about that specific vibration or another way of putting it ~ temporarily increasing my rhythmacy with a substance to help me write about my experience with that substance.

Hm, I'm feeling inspired to write a series of posts written after ingesting various foods and substances (sugar, alcohol, meat, dairy, etc.); after fasting or detoxing; or after immersing myself in environments with extreme vibrational frequencies (e.g. a sex club, an elementary school playground at recess, public transit subway during rush hour or a zoo).  Ooh, I am super excited about this!

I want to add a note about my references to caffeine and coffee.  We all know that there are widely-consumed and addictive sources of caffeine other than coffee, such as chocolate and tea.  I chose to narrow my focus on coffee and used the word interchangeably with caffeine in this article only because I don't experience strong attachment and withdrawal from teas and chocolate, at least, not nearly as turbulent and lengthy as my relationship with coffee.


DAILY ALCHEMantra:
"I let go of that which no longer serves me."


DAILY DOSE of MUSIC that MOVES ME:
Listen to "Perduto" (Inspired Club Mix) by Inspiro & Ornella Vanoni
I chose this track today because it resonated with the speed of my caffeine vibe.